Saturday, April 7, 2012
Guitar Strings & Fancy Things posted at 6:19 PM
Guitar Strings and Fancy Things
Chapter one: Insanity
1. The state of being seriously mentally ill; madness.
2. Extreme foolishness or irrationality.
This was absolutely insane of me to be doing.
But I couldn't help the way my mind wandered to far off places when ever I thought of his face.
Eight months. It had been eight months since Jake and I had split up. And most of it I spent in a daze, wondering how things had gotten so fucked up so bad. One minute he and I had seemed so perfect, like two puzzle pieces fitting together to finish a perfect picture.
And then Leah entered the picture, breaking up our picture to create her own.
Well, that was how I saw it eight months ago. She was the enemy, the girl that had ruined it all for me. In my eyes, she took Jacob right out of my hands and created her own puzzle with him.
Now though… it was a completely different story. Now I was a single, nineteen year old woman, stuck in the quiet and secluded town of Forks, WA. Taking my time on deciding what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and existing.
In all honesty, I had stayed here for Jake. I've know what I've wanted to do since I was sixteen. The only thing I cared more about then Jacob was writing. Whether it was short stories, poems, songs, or novels.
And that's where he entered the picture. The man I can't get my mind off of, the one with magical hands and an infectious laugh.
He was a free bird, happy to roam without ties. Someone lost in the music that he created with his finger tips and guitar strings. I met him on my first day at The Lodge. He worked as a waiter, and showed me the ropes. I was eighteen and he was twenty-one.
Back then, though, I never noticed his attractive jaw line, or the true depth of his forest green eyes. He was an attractive man, with an enticingly crooked smile. But my heart had been so latched onto Jake's that noticing just how perfect Edward was had been somewhat of an impossibility.
And at the time, it wouldn't have mattered if Jacob wasn't in the picture. Edward had someone of his own. Someone he doted upon and loved so very much. But our friendship had started in the cusp of their problems, and it grew stronger as he confided in me.
And I confided in him. I guess we both grew to trust one another because our relationships had both become royally fucked up around the same time.
So on our days off, we'd get together and hang out. And he'd play his guitar, and I sing along to whatever tune had been on his mind. We'd write songs together, or I'd listen to his band—Venom—practice.
Emmett and Jasper were pretty chill about my continuous appearances at practice. The only member that seemed to have a problem was Rosalie Hale—and I found out that it had to do with a fierce protectiveness of her friends.
Tanya and Rosalie had grown up together, and they considered themselves "sisters from different misters." I had only met Tanya once, but I could tell that Rosalie's hatred of me spanned from Tanya, not just her protective nature.
Rosalie's and mines relationship didn't get any better once Edward finally called it quits with Tanya a month ago. Because once she disappeared, I was appearing a lot more often. And it wasn't always my idea to be there.
Edward liked having me around. He said I gave band practice good energy. And he liked that I listened and took notes and tried to help them grow as artists.
Maybe I was trying to show off. Maybe I was trying to seduce him with my awkwardness. Maybe I just fancied him.
Either way, it was insane of me to want him as badly as I did. It was insane to notice the little things, and want to learn more. I wanted to know everything about him, his fears, his hopes, and his dreams. I wanted to know how he got the tiny scar just about his left eyebrow. Or what the stories were behind his tattoos.
I wanted to know if he planned on spending his entire life in Forks, and if I could spend it with him.
I had been wrong when I thought Jake had been my puzzle piece. Because he never actually fit me right. I was too blinded by the love I had for him to see that our worlds could never coexist.
But maybe I was a little insane to even think, for a split second, that Edward may just be what I had been searching for in Jake.
Despite everything, though. I just wanted to sit there and listen as Edward strummed those strings. I wanted to get lost in the melodies, and unravel in Edward's hands.
Guitar Strings & Fancy Things posted at 6:16 PM
Guitar Strings & Fancy ThingsPrologue: Disbelief
1. Inability or refusal to accept that something is true or real.2. Lack of faith in something.
I stared at Edward in complete disbelief. How could he believe that I ever had negative intentions? How could he be thrown so off balance by one fucking woman?
He glared back at me, green eyes filled with anger and hurt. "I trusted you, Bella! I thought you were my friend!"
"I am your friend!" I snapped back, drawing in a shaky breath.
He shook his head, stalking away from me and towards the front door. I watched him with guarded eyes, trying to keep myself from falling apart.
"No, you're not. A friend doesn't scheme behind my back. A friend doesn't do the things you did to break a couple up. Jacob had the right idea, leaving you behind for Leah."
If I had been closer to him, I was almost certain he would have been smacked. He'd hit that soft spot in my shield, the one that finally allowed a broken sob to rack my chest. I shook my head at his accusations.
This wasn't the Edward I knew. He would have never treated me like this. He wouldn't have believed the lies he'd been fed. Because I knew he hadn't thought this up on his own. I knew it in the pit of my stomach, and the growing hole in my heart.
This man before me didn't care that I was being torn apart by someone he claimed to love. He didn't understand that I had been framed.
Instead, he opened the door and told me to leave and never come back.
So I did, without glancing back. I didn't attempt to defend myself because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't change a thing.
Tanya had gotten into his head, and tricked his mind. She had won, just like she said she would.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Twificpics entry for: As You Like Contest Entry posted at 5:41 PM
That was the picture I submitted. I kept checking back to see how other users felt about it, and they gave me really good tips. I totally agreed that the second image of Edward wasn't needed. When I was editing it, I almost removed him. But I ignored my gut. I took what they said, and tried to update the banner. Because every little bit of advice helps. Here's what I got:
Hello. posted at 6:14 AM
I'm completely new to the world of blogger. I figured I could use this to post my random drabble, fanfiction related or original. Or use it to post the many graphics I make for my own self amusement. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'm a really friendly person. And I don't bite. :)